Will Cady's Ego

If you are getting ready for a move in Boston, then get excited for the complete utter pandemonium of “Moving Day”.  Mattresses and couches dropped on every street corner.  Uhauls slamming into the overpasses on Storrow Drive.  Sweaty parents and bitchy daughters.  People with high blood pressure laying on their horns behind double parked cars.  It’s beautiful, really.  I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

As a Bostonian for the past 5 years, I have had the distinct honor of participating in this amazing race to nowhere many times.  I can say with complete honesty that it has contributed to some of the foulest moods I have ever been in in my entire life.  This year, however, was quite different for me.  Allow me to tell you the story of my move.

Two years ago this August 31st, my band, The Help, prepared for our move into our very own house in Allston.  We were tingling with excitement over the prospect of having a practice space in our basement.  We were ready to push ourselves into a personal renaissance of musical genius.  24 hours later, covered in sweat and without sleep, I struggled to keep myself awake and alive as I raced up I-93 with the windows down and the radio blaring to return our Uhaul in time to not be screwed even further by life, which I thoroughly hated.

See, when we arrived at our new abode at Gordon Street, we were greeted by room after room full of trash, a basement floor soggy from water damage, windows rotting out of the frame, an overgrown backyard adjoining a rusty garage and a landlord who simply didn’t want to do a thing about any of it.  Our first meeting was a hostile one, as he screeched into our driveway  ready to yell at us for anything he could.  As we waited outside, he “inspected” the house and informed us that we needed to unpack all of our belongings which we had just brought in and leave them under threatening skies so he could clear the property and document the damage.  There was enough that he took the entirety of the former tenants security deposits.  He spent it on nothing.  We refloored the basement, we scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom, we removed the trash from the living room, we were miserable for two years.

This year, we smartened up.  We moved to Brighton on an August 15th lease.  Our landlords-to-be visited us at our places of work to get to know us before the move.  They gave each of us a set of keys with bottle opener key chains the week before the move.  They created a little sign with our names on it and a music clef on our entryway.  They held doors for us as we moved in to our immaculately clean and fully prepared new home.  The front yard was manicured and full of flowers.  They showed us our own personal washer and dryer in the basement.  The backyard looked like Hawaii.  They introduced us to the neighborhood.  It was shocking going from an absentee landlord to landlords full of love to give.  It’s important to know that things can be this good.  We had no idea, and because of that we got walked all over.  Here are some other tips:

-Don’t rent from Alpha Management

-Yes, you have to get your stuff out of your place by August 31st.  No, the place you are moving into will not be empty on September 1st.  It doesn’t make sense.  Don’t stress about it, your stuff will be fine.

-Set an alarm on your watch/phone every half hour to remind you to check in with yourself and ask “Am I acting like a psycho right now?”

-Pack heavy things in small boxes.

-For the love of God, if you have a Uhaul don’t go on Storrow Drive.

-Just don’t take Storrow Drive, because some idiot with a Uhual just crashed.

-If you are moving into an apartment building, be the first to help someone else and you will create a sense of camaraderie that will make everyone’s move quicker.

-Take drawers out of your dresser before moving it.

-Always lift instead of drag, it’s surprising how easily floors can scratch.

-Standard payment for friend help is pizza and beer.  Go for steak if you want to go above and beyond.

-When you unpack, don’t store your things on surfaces (like table tops, dressers, etc.) as that will create a cluttered environment almost immediately.

-Have a trash can for every room.

-If you finish your move early, it is definitely worth making a run around the city to look for free stuff thrown on the curb.  Two years ago I snagged an arcade basketball machine.  Wrap your mind around THAT.

-Don’t hint at anything related to Beirut/Beer Pong to your landlord.

-Eat a big, big breakfast.

-Parking rules are anarchy.  Chances are, you’ll be forced at some point to park like a jerk.  Keep someone with the keys next to the truck at all times so you can move.

-Don’t leave ANYTHING in your old place.  It costs landlords about $300 of your security deposit to remove that lamp you thought the new tenant “would probably want to keep anyway”.

-Don’t tell your landlord the problems that need to be fixed.  Chances are, they have a billion things to deal with.  Write them down and give that to him.  The easier you make it for them, the better your relationship will be.

-If you don’t get to know your neighbors in the first month, chances are you won’t at all.

By the way, that old landlord of ours?  He’s currently trying to rent our rooms out and letting people move in before our lease ends on September 1st.